Whenever anyone is successful at making a change in their life, it is not accomplished only by discipline and willpower. Instead, it is the result of something more. For someone who wants to quit smoking who will be dealing with physical withdrawals, it is a little more difficult but it can be done, and in fact, is done – all the time. You might not have JUST YET, but that doesn’t mean you will never be successful with your actions to stop smoking.
I see it all the time; people trying to loose weight, trying to quit smoking, trying to accomplish something but always falling back to the old way. What frequently happens is that they will succeed for awhile but it doesn’t last and they end up going right back where they were. This usually is the result of trying to succeed by applying discipline and willpower. It starts you moving in the proper direction but then you get tired and fall back.
Changing something about yourself is really not about changing. It is about “exchanging”- exchanging one way for another. How is this different? Changing requires you to control your behavior. This is done by the suppressing of your natural tendencies. Over time, this suppression only frustrates you. This is why it doesn’t work in the long-run.
Exchanging – is to switch tracks altogether. It is a very different mindset. It is about replacing one life for another, instead of trying to control the current life. To Some degree, this means that you become a different person. You are partially “exchanging” one person for another.
This is a good thing. This is part of the process of maturity. This is why in my articles and in my book I emphasize personal development as part of a persons program to quit smoking. This understanding applies to all areas of a life where something needs to be different.
In the case of the smoker who understands what I am saying here, this person doesn’t just stop smoking (which only controls the behavior). Instead, this person actually becomes a non-smoker (a different person to some degree).
The act of smoking is supportive of the very person that you are. When someone is truly ready to be a different person, they no longer need that reinforcement because that person they are reinforcing is no longer who they are. Again, I say – it is about “exchanging”; one person for another, one lifestyle for another, one set of values for another.
So then, the question really becomes; do you only want to quit the behavior – or – do you desire to become a different person, to some degree?
